Kane & Lynch: Dead Men
Posted By: Kevin on Jul 06 2008

Is bland a condition that is console dependent? What is meant by that question is this: should games be rated in comparison to other games on the same console or should games be rated within a glass bubble? Truly distinct games will find acclaim within both rating systems. It is hard to argue that a system defining experience such as Metal Gear Solid 2 is not only a great game amongst its competitors on the PS2 but a great game of its own accord. More so than any other moment, a console’s middle-age should be the spot where it is decided a game is stacked amongst others in its class. Kane & Lynch: Dead Men rides that dangerous line. Taken outside of its own poorly implemented boundaries, Kane & Lynch falls into the mediocre. On a console prized for its realistic graphics and gun toting game play Kane & Lynch attempts to be a thinking man’s shooter and fails at the task.

Those looking for a simple snippet of the game play of Kane & Lynch will be satisfied with this: take the shoulder camera from Resident Evil 4, add the weapon swapping from Halo, put it in-between two slices of Rainbow Six squad tactics, then beat the thing vigorously against the wall until it resembles none of the previous games. Playing Kane & Lynch is comparable to a poorly constructed sandwich; the mustard is making the bread soggy and the turkey is dry from being left out too long. Kane & Lynch will keep any player’s hands busy as it utilizes nearly every button on the controller. The shoulder buttons are the action commands such as fire, duck, etc… Now, this is completely acceptable as the current norm for firing a weapon in most third person shooters lies somewhere on the shoulder buttons.

During their attempt to squeeze every ounce of controller real estate, the developers have placed one of the simplest commands on one of the most difficult buttons. Run is mapped to depressing the left analog stick while moving. “While moving” is important to note because not only does the game use analog stick depressing, it is context sensitive. When Kane, the main character, is standing sill, depressing the left analog stick will bring up a full-blown, but completely barren, map. Even outside of the terrible cover system (which is accomplished by merely standing next to a wall for a few seconds at which point Kane magnetizes to it) the run button is the true nail in this coffin. There is no legitimate reasoning behind not using standard third person running techniques: either assign it to a face button or let me use the tilt of the analog stick to determine movement speed.

There is a division amongst mature games. Games such as GTA IV or Dead or Alive wear their sinful natures like a badge of merit, glorifying in their decadent ways. It is this gleeful approach that ultimately makes these types of games enjoyable. The 360 has become home to the nonsensical sci-fi epics such as Gears of War or Halo 3. Games that are about silly events like alien invasions, but are doused with enough blood and violence to dull their far too dour attitudes. Kane & Lynch attempts the third least traveled path; a genuinely serious game. Akin to something like Scarface, Kane & Lynch is a yarn that simply takes itself too seriously and cannot deliver when it needs to. The word fuck has rarely been abused as much as in this game. This reviewer is an absolutely lover of the word fuck, its agility and resilience is a rarity amongst the English language. But after 3 hours, it loses much of its potency. While the story has several good twists and reveals (particularly watch the ups and downs of Lynch who is arguably the more interesting of the two), it doesn’t stay long enough on its good points before it reminds you of its bad ones.

Technical snafus also mar what would have been a good experience. It becomes bothersome to see the level of clipping in this game as characters within it seem to ignore tables and chairs by simply walking through them. Weapon fire is limp and without merit; the various firearms spit out bullets with all the ferocity of a mewling kitten. They lack proper weight and feel. Kane & Lynch also eschews other common advances in the genre. Hit locations are unidentifiable (the screen simply turns red and tilts giving no indication of where the fire is coming from), the mini map is horribly empty displaying little if anything valuable, and squad A.I. is primordial to say the least. Basically, each command boils down to go here and get killed.

Removing the A.I. element from Kane & Lynch gives it a small sense of victory. Multiplayer is perhaps the game’s saving grace. Risks are taken and would pay off if it weren’t for the underlying nuts and bolts problem. Co-op can be played locally with split screen setup. It is enjoyable to just hear more of Lynch’s violent rambling when he is wounded. Online shows the hidden gem of Kane & Lynch. It is a sort of cops and robbers mode which in the hands of a more competent and confident developer may have succeeded. All players start off as robbers and are faced with multitudes of A.I. driven officers. Sometimes even random bystanders will engage. The goal is to make it to the escape vehicle with the loot but at anytime a rogue player can decide to turn heel and take the loot for himself. It is this glimmer of human randomness amidst a droll sea of same-old same-old that keeps Kane & Lynch from drowning completely. But, very quickly the hope will fade as the player is mowed down by computer officers while running around trying to figure out where in the hell he is getting shot from because his screen just tilts and turns red.

When it comes down to it, it has been done and it has been done better. Recommending a game for renting is applicable when the game’s experience is still fun or is so out there it must be experienced. Short games are rentable, such as the God of War series. Experimental games are rentable, such as Killer 7. Kane & Lynch is a game that deserves to disappear completely, as not only is it a waste of dollar it, is a waste of time. There is nothing here to enjoy and the multiplayer aspects, while interesting, are plagued by the same issues as single player. Put this one back down on the shelf and leave it.